Kinda sums things up nicely for me right now.
Sleep still craptacular.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Scumbag brain
Ahoy hoy everyone.
I would love to say that this is not another one of my infamous whiny emo posts, but I try not to lie to my friends. So this is another of my infamous whiny emo posts.
Good news, the guilty feelings I;ve been having have lessened. Oh and I got a raise! Woohoo!
Bad news, I've been have trouble sleeping for the past week or so. It either takes me a long time to sleep or I wake up at ungodly hours of the morning. I haven't had a full nights sleep in a while. Even after having a very good day, mfeeling happy, things going well, when it gets close to bedtime, bam! Stupid brain is like, y'know what, you were too happy today, time to think and overanalyze shit so you can't sleep. Hell even when my day isn't taht great, does my brain say, hey it's time for a break! NNNNOOOOOOooooo..... he just says keep on worrying.
Seriously. I think it's time I stab it with a q-tip. Hopefully then he'll shut up.
I would love to say that this is not another one of my infamous whiny emo posts, but I try not to lie to my friends. So this is another of my infamous whiny emo posts.
Good news, the guilty feelings I;ve been having have lessened. Oh and I got a raise! Woohoo!
Bad news, I've been have trouble sleeping for the past week or so. It either takes me a long time to sleep or I wake up at ungodly hours of the morning. I haven't had a full nights sleep in a while. Even after having a very good day, mfeeling happy, things going well, when it gets close to bedtime, bam! Stupid brain is like, y'know what, you were too happy today, time to think and overanalyze shit so you can't sleep. Hell even when my day isn't taht great, does my brain say, hey it's time for a break! NNNNOOOOOOooooo..... he just says keep on worrying.
Seriously. I think it's time I stab it with a q-tip. Hopefully then he'll shut up.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Guilt
Guilt, I hate guilt. I feel it in abundance. I don't know if it's because I'm the stereotypical Canadian that apologies for everything, or that I'm catholic, or that I'm just plain messed up. But I can't help it. It's part of who I am.
I feel guilty that when things go bad. When relationships crash. Even if it takes two to do it, I can't help but feel that I didn't do enough, that there was something I could've done better. Hell I even feel guilty when there really isn't anything for me to feel guilty about. I may have made a mistake, I may have cause some concern and I would like to think that until now, I have proven that I am worth more then the mistakes I have made.
Even when I logically know that I am not in the wrong, I make excuses for the other person. Blame rests mostly on me. I should've been better. I should've double checked facts. I should've thought twice before reacting and panicking. I should've known better. Basically, if I'm not perfect, I failed somehow and it's my fault.
And then, I remember that this is the time when I should be remembering my godsister. Her time with us and not about my petty drama. And I feel guilty.
I feel guilty that when things go bad. When relationships crash. Even if it takes two to do it, I can't help but feel that I didn't do enough, that there was something I could've done better. Hell I even feel guilty when there really isn't anything for me to feel guilty about. I may have made a mistake, I may have cause some concern and I would like to think that until now, I have proven that I am worth more then the mistakes I have made.
Even when I logically know that I am not in the wrong, I make excuses for the other person. Blame rests mostly on me. I should've been better. I should've double checked facts. I should've thought twice before reacting and panicking. I should've known better. Basically, if I'm not perfect, I failed somehow and it's my fault.
And then, I remember that this is the time when I should be remembering my godsister. Her time with us and not about my petty drama. And I feel guilty.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Happy Chrismahanukwanzastice!
Ahoy hoy everyone!
Just wanted to wish the best to you and yours :)
And let's hope 2012 is a better year then 2011!
Just wanted to wish the best to you and yours :)
And let's hope 2012 is a better year then 2011!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Happy American Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends and to everyone else Ahoy Hoy! :D
Just dropping in to wish everyone well and to remind you all that not all of us (*me*) are on Holidays. So eat and drink lots for me!
Have a good one everyone!
P.S. Being the awesome friend that I am, I am willing to take any leftovers any of you might have. >.>
Just dropping in to wish everyone well and to remind you all that not all of us (*me*) are on Holidays. So eat and drink lots for me!
Have a good one everyone!
P.S. Being the awesome friend that I am, I am willing to take any leftovers any of you might have. >.>
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Johnny Five is alive!
Ahoy hoy everyone!
Quickie post
1- Still alive! YAY!
2- Vacation over. boooo....
3- Pain still there but less. Had follow up appointment (after it being pushed back a month!). All they had was, there's nothing serious, so just manage the pain, it's "normal" and it should go away on it's own. Joy.
4- Work had a major re-strucuring. No one was fired, more re-assigning of titles and such. we got a new CEO, things seem like they are getting organized, so hopefully it'll be less blah then it's been lately.
5- Ummmmm.... I somehow got into a relationship. I'm happ, so is she (I hope!) but yeah, I'm also a little, WTF am I doing and how did I con her into actually going out with me in the first place?!? Little surreal at times but in a good way :)
6- Still really busy. Sorry for not keeping up to date with everyone, I really do miss my blog friends. But well for once it's a case of real life trumping net life. And in a good way for once! WOOHOO!
Well that's all really, just wanted to let you all know that I'm still breathing. Hope everyone's doing well.
Cheers!
Quickie post
1- Still alive! YAY!
2- Vacation over. boooo....
3- Pain still there but less. Had follow up appointment (after it being pushed back a month!). All they had was, there's nothing serious, so just manage the pain, it's "normal" and it should go away on it's own. Joy.
4- Work had a major re-strucuring. No one was fired, more re-assigning of titles and such. we got a new CEO, things seem like they are getting organized, so hopefully it'll be less blah then it's been lately.
5- Ummmmm.... I somehow got into a relationship. I'm happ, so is she (I hope!) but yeah, I'm also a little, WTF am I doing and how did I con her into actually going out with me in the first place?!? Little surreal at times but in a good way :)
6- Still really busy. Sorry for not keeping up to date with everyone, I really do miss my blog friends. But well for once it's a case of real life trumping net life. And in a good way for once! WOOHOO!
Well that's all really, just wanted to let you all know that I'm still breathing. Hope everyone's doing well.
Cheers!
Friday, August 26, 2011
News of my demise have been greatly exaggerated
Ahoy hoy everyone!
Yes I am alive! I am sorry to be away so long, but to be honest I just haven't been feeling the internet groove lately. Now don't get me wrong I miss you all, but I find myself spending a lot less time online then I used too, and when I'm on, it's quick FB, email and off.
So for those wondering, here's an update in bullet points because it's Friday and I'm lazy:
- I am still alive
- I also suddenly have a social life. No clue how that happened.
- Social life has been the cause of drama and fun
- Pain down there is still there. More ultra-sounds abdomen and pelvis next week. Something there might be the cause of the pain. If it's all clear, then they're out of ideas.
- Not sure if I want them to find something or not.
- Trying to catch up on blogs.
- Have vacation coming up at the end of September. Anyone willing to house a crazy canuck for a couple of days?
- Way too many posts to catch up on.
- Will not promise to try to be on more often, cause not sure if I can keep it right now.
Hope everyone in the blogverse is doing well. To anyone still checking in here thanks for dropping by :)
Yes I am alive! I am sorry to be away so long, but to be honest I just haven't been feeling the internet groove lately. Now don't get me wrong I miss you all, but I find myself spending a lot less time online then I used too, and when I'm on, it's quick FB, email and off.
So for those wondering, here's an update in bullet points because it's Friday and I'm lazy:
- I am still alive
- I also suddenly have a social life. No clue how that happened.
- Social life has been the cause of drama and fun
- Pain down there is still there. More ultra-sounds abdomen and pelvis next week. Something there might be the cause of the pain. If it's all clear, then they're out of ideas.
- Not sure if I want them to find something or not.
- Trying to catch up on blogs.
- Have vacation coming up at the end of September. Anyone willing to house a crazy canuck for a couple of days?
- Way too many posts to catch up on.
- Will not promise to try to be on more often, cause not sure if I can keep it right now.
Hope everyone in the blogverse is doing well. To anyone still checking in here thanks for dropping by :)
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